Champions League review: Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp has an Ox-sized dilemma, Tottenham are back, and Chelsea substitutes strike again
Who would have thought it? If you take the idiots out of the village, suddenly everyone in the village gets on absolutely fine and all is well once more.
Mauricio Pochettino decided to drop all of the players who’d been giving him sleepless nights since the summer and boom, Tottenham Hotspur look like a competent football club with a desire to win matches once more.
A thumping home win against a Red Star side only really quite scary in their own backyard isn’t exactly a reason to get the ‘welcome home’ bunting out, but when you’ve lost to Brighton and drawn with Watford in the same month (not forgetting what happened last time the Champions League anthem was heard in North London), you’ll take any win you can stumble across.
If they can do the same again away at Liverpool on Sunday, well then I am truly listening.
Harry Kane channelled his inner-Teddy Sheringham to perfection on Tuesday night and Sonny ran the channels as freshly as a new-born lamb and finally, just finally, Tottenham fans were able to enjoy what was left of their night.
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Here’s a little word of advice for any teams about to play Man City in the next few weeks. If Peppy G praises your attacking game before kick-off, flip it up and baton down the hatches at once.
Guardiola was gushing pre-match about how Atalanta’s attacking approach to the beautiful game was great to see – and then City went out and showed them ‘how we do it around here, mate’.
Raheem Sterling cashed in another hat-trick, before saying after the game: “Perfect night, perfect. But I should have had four”. Raheem, my dear man, then that is not a perfect night I am afraid.
The curse of the City centre-backs continues as Rodri was taken off injured in the first half. Gabby Jesus could well be next on the list of defensive experiments for Pep just to get him in the starting XI every week.
Phil Foden got overly-excited about being allowed to start a game of football and picked up two yellow cards, ending his night early. Foden now has more early baths this season than he does Premier League starts.
Real Madrid’s 1-0 win in Turkey against Galatasaray presumably gives Zinedine Zidane another week in office and Thibaut Courtois went some way to apologising for his howler against Mallorca by managing to keep the ball out of his net for once.
A 1-0 win for Atletico Madrid was categorically the least shocking scoreline of Tuesday night and Bayern found Olympiakos a little more challenging than a trip to Spurs and only won 3-2 – a result that has seen the pressure on Nico Kovac increase once again.
On Wednesday night, Chelsea’s youth team were taken on a school trip to Amsterdam accompanied by some senior players.
If you had thought all the VAR rubbish was exclusive to the Premier League, you’d be wrong as Ajax had a goal chalked off in the first-half for someone’s hair being slightly ahead of the line.
Frank Lampard is in danger of becoming a lucky manager – his substitutions at the weekend changed the game and he once again turned to Christian Pulisic off the bench here.
The American set up fellow sub Michy-B who, it turns out, only really needs to be on a pitch 20 minutes at a time to find his shooting boots. 1-0 away to Ajax is quite the result and Chelsea’s momentum continues as Olivier Giroud looks on reminiscing about all those minutes he used to get at Arsenal.
Over in Belgium, Liverpool have finally found that rarest of breeds: an Ox-outside-the-box. Foxes in boxes were very pre-Millenium and football has changed. It’s all about being able to score outrageous goals from 20-yards or more now and, ideally, two per game.
Oxlade-Chamberlain has had a few injury problems over the years but he stood out as Liverpool’s key man against Genk and King Kloppo might have a midfield selection dilemma over the coming months.
Genk might have had a somewhat controversial goal disallowed themselves (hey, VAR – how you doing?) but the impudence of the Ox’s second goal was the finest moment in his family since his dad, Mark, set up that John Barnes goal against Brazil with the mother of all assists.
Messi became the first player to score for 15 consecutive seasons in the Champions League last night, a record that had Cristiano Ronaldo moaning to his agent that he wishes that he’d been born first. Luis Suarez got very excited, thinking he’d scored his first away goal in the competition for 1498 days for it to be ruled an own goal.
In Napoli, Dries Mertens can finally be compared to Diego Maradona as he overtook the Argentine’s goal record for the club in their win over Salzburg. And in Italy, Inter are justing Conteing around now, beating Dortmund 2-0.
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